Daydream
by perlumi
Summary: Simple questions meet simple answers. (Except nothing is simple.)


First published on my tumblr, for the prompt "Marry me ?". I fixed some of my mistakes, but feel free to tell me if I forgot to correct some. Comments are greatly appreciated !

* * *

Everything is quiet when Russia asks him. They're just the two of them, alone in one of the many offices of Russia's house. Lithuania is cleaning the room while Russia is doing paperwork, and the voice that breaks the silence is softer than a whisper.

"Marry me."

The words are so soft-spoken and so unbelievable that Lithuania first thinks he has misheard something, but Russia's pleading look is enough of a proof that he has heard it right. The brunet stops what he was doing, lets go of the feather duster and remains silent for a long moment. How can he answer this ? Marriages between nations are meaningless, a simple affirmation of economical or political ties bewteen two countries. Feelings don't matter in these; it's just a question of alliance between two governments. Russia knows it perfectly, so why even bother asking, like they could do something on their own ?

Lithuania knows too, that it is exactly because they can't have this that Russia wants it. A unbreakable link between the two of them, that would link them beyond their identity as nations, and just be a symbol of their feelings for each other. Something deliberately and vainly human. He has a hopeless smile at this thought.

"You know that we can't."

The hope in Russia's eyes weakens, but he still tries to argue.

"I'm not talking about a marriage between our countries ! What I'm talking about is between you and me only !" His voice seems on the verge of breaking. "I just want us to be together forever."

Lithuania's eyes widen, and he shoots a mortal glance at Russia. He knows he is going to regret deeply what he is about to do, but he can't let Russia fool himself anymore.

"We won't be together forever. Do you really think I want to stay here all my life ? I am my own country Russia, not your pawn nor a subordinate. As soon as my people recover their freedom, I will leave. After all..." Lithuania stops talking for a moment. He needs courage for what he going to say next. "Nothing is holding me back here."

He feels Russia stiffen and avert his eyes. He can't afford to show him his true feelings. He is doing it for their good, for both of them.

"Litva ?" His lover's voice is weak, like he can't proceed what has just been said. "Litva you're kidding right ? Nothing holding you back ? But we...

—I already said it Russia, I am not your pawn ! I am not a toy or something for you to play with. I wish my freedom back, and I know my people will obtain it soon enough. For now I can't leave, but you can't seriously be thinking that I will stay here forever with you." Lithuania watches silently as tears begin to flow down Russia's cheeks. It's better this way, he tells himself. That way Russia will hate him and won't blame himself when the day come and Lithuania leaves for good. "I'm sorry Russia. I can't give you what you want."

Lithuania exits the room, trying to ignore the sobs coming from within. His own eyes have been dry since long.

* * *

"Hey, Lithuania !"

The nation turns around to see that it's Turkey calling him. He frowns a little -they are not really close, and he wonders what kind of thing Turkey has to tell him.

"Sorry to bother you, but Russia kind of fell asleep before the end of the meeting, and nobody's had the gut to wake him up. Since you know him the best, can you go ? I have a meeting with France and China so I don't wanna be late."

Lithuania just nods, and Turkey thanks him before running towards Greece -probably to finish an argument. He sighs, before going back to the meeting room. Of course they couldn't ask someone else, like Russia's sisters. Then he remembers that Ukraine and Belarus didn't attend the meeting, and frowns again. Well, it's just his luck.

A look inside the meeting room tells him that nobody's left, except for Russia who is indeed sleeping, head resting against his arms on the table. Lithuania can feel the tiniest bit of anxiety in his belly. It's been long since he has last seen Russia so defenseless and innocent. He approaches Russia as quietly as possible, suddenly unsure about waking him up. It reminds him of the times at Russia's house, where he would go and make sure Russia didn't fall asleep while doing paperwork.

A light chuckle escapes his lips, and Lithuania notices he's smiling quite fondly at the sight of Russia. He looks at his watch. The meeting break will last at least an hour, and Russia looks exhausted. He should as well let him sleep.

But instead of leaving, he seats on the chair next to Russia, as silently as possible, and takes his notes from the meeting. He doesn't feel particulary hungry, and works better when everything is silent around him. He glances at Russia, heart tightening. He misses him more than he would have thought, after all. More than he should, too. Lithuania takes a deep breath, and starts working. His mind is elsewhere though -somewhere back in his time at Russia's house.

Closing his eyes for a second, Lithuania dreams that they are granted another chance. In this dream, Russia's smile is brighter than the sun and a thousand stars, and his eyes are full of love, devoid of any kind of worry. He takes Lithuania's hand in his own, his cheeks red, and squeezes it as if they were going to hold hands forever.

"Marry me ?"

In this dream, Lithuania says yes.


End file.
